This is the true story of 192 countries picked to live in a house, work together, and have their lives taped and translated. Find out what happens when countries stop being polite and start getting real.
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Iraq: America, get out already!
America: I was just helping you hang some curtains.
Iraq: They’re up. They’re a little crooked, but they’re up. And hopefully better than those old Venetian blinds you tore down. But whatever, you need to get out. Also, can I borrow 100 bucks?
America: I thought you were getting a job at the gas station.
Iraq: That’s not working out as well as we hoped. Give me some money.
The living room
China: What’s up, America? Want to watch Julie & Julia? I got it on DVD. The picture’s a little shaky, but you can still tell what’s going on.
America: Maybe later. But hey, while I’m here, Iraq needs 100 bucks, so can I borrow 200 hundred bucks?
China: Okay, but you have to promise to not get mad when I leave my trash everywhere, torture my house guests and switch your toothpaste with lead.
Israel: You put your finger in my peanut butter, Palestine.
Palestine: You stole my peanut butter.
Israel: No, I was given your peanut butter. You can’t just put your finger in it.
Palestine: I can do whatever I want with MY peanut butter.
Palestine’s cousin kicks Israel in the shins.
Israel: Damnit Palestine!
Palestine: Hey that was my cousin, not me.
Palestine winks at his cousin.
Israel punches Palestine in the face.
Palestine’s cousin give’s Israel a dead-leg.
Israel puts Palestine in a headlock.
America: Hey guys, knock it off!
Israel and Palestine: NO!
Palestine’s cousin kicks America in the crotch.
America farts on Palestine.
Palestine: See? You always take his side!
The front door
Italy: Ahh, you’ve come at last, my darling.
Young Hot Babe: Tee hee.
France: Hey Italy. You have to stop inviting all these strange girls over.
Young Hot Babe: Giggle, giggle.
Italy: I can do what I want!
France: Yeah, but there’s just so many of them and we don’t know who they are. What if they try to steal something? Show a little restraint.
Italy: You are just jealous.
France: I’ve got a supermodel wife.
France: Also, put on some pants. You’re embarrassing yourself.
Afghanistan: Why was I brought to this meeting?
America: You’ve got to start cleaning your bathroom.
Afghanistan: I resent the implication! My bathroom is spotless.
England: Everyone can smell it. The whole house reeks.
Afghanistan: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
America: Look, Afghanistan, I’ll come in and help you clean up.
Russia: Oooh, America. Ix-nay on the elp-hay.
America: Why? What’s wrong.
Russia: I once tried getting in there and couldn’t handle it.
America: That was a long time ago. I’m sure it’ll be different with me.
Russia: Your funeral.
Outside Iran’s door
America: Hey, Iran, we need to talk.
Iran pokes his head out
Iran: What do you want?
England: Can we come in?
France: Look, we know you’re making a meth lab in there.
Iran: No I’m not. That’s ridiculous.
America: Can we come in?
France: If you don’t let us in in the next month or so, there will be terrible consequences.
Iran: You’ll kick me out of the house?
England: Worse. We’ll make you pay a larger share of the utilities.
Iran: What? That’s crazy. China, you’re okay with this?
China: It’s nothing personal.
Iran: Typical. And Russia, you too? What about bros before G.I. Joes?
Russia: Oh man, Iran. Don’t be like that. You know you’re my brother from another mother, but seriously, you could blow up the house.
Iran: Whatever. North Korea’s got tons of crazy stuff in his room.
North Korea: (heard muffled through his door) Yeah! Say hello to my little friend! Kill ‘em all, Pacino
America: Right, but he just holes up in his room and watches movies.
Libya: (ranting to self) Swine flu was invented by the American Coast Guard to kill Martin Luther King Jr! I want a sandwich. The Vatican is responsible for 9/11. A roast beef sandwich! Arabs and Jews play naked Twister with each other. Lettuce and tomato, hold the mayo.
Germany: Can’t we force Libya into a nursing home or something? He’s obviously lost it.
Italy: I’m afraid not. He lives in a tent in our backyard. That’s out of our jurisdiction.
Libya: I said hold the mayo! Africa vetoes this sandwich.
Turkey: I just want to say again, I didn’t drink the Armenian coffee, and that it was a long time ago, but that most importantly I deny drinking it.
America: Hey Turkey, relax, no need to bring it up. No one is saying you killed the pot of Armenian coffee.
France: Actually, I think he did.
Russia: Me too.
Italy: He totally finished it off.
America: Look, the important thing is we move past whatever Turkey did or did not do so we can play his Xbox 360.
Germany: This is bull! I’m not always included in house meetings because of that time I ate all the bagels, but you’re willing to let Turkey off the hook?