Tweets to the Three People Who Recently Unfollowed Me

Last night, I discovered that three people unfollowed my Twitter account @AdamSacks. I did not take it well.

Shaq: Letting Down the Children

There was a time when Shaquille O’Neal cared about the children and literacy. Check out this PSA he did.

Look at that true hero–a good basketball player, great actor and best reason to learn how to read.

But sadly Shaq has turned his back on the children and on reading. I’m speaking of course about his Twitter account, @THE_REAL_SHAQ. His grammar, spelling and punctuation are so bad, he’s setting a terrible example for today’s children. Look at these random examples of Shaq’s tweets I specially picked out to illustrate my post.

Pls 4give me? U hv 20 min? U set yo self up 4 dat 1? Can these words really come from the same man that once told children, “When you know how to read, adventures come to you.” Shaq obviously doesn’t care about children any longer. Sure, he’s involved with Feed the Children, but how are they supposed to eat when they can’t even read the nutritional information?

But don’t worry, I’ve taken it upon myself to right this wrong. I created the Twitter account, @SHAQ_EDITED where I’ve started copy editing every one of Shaq’s tweets.

It’s a long process, not helped by Twitter’s limit to how many tweets you can add per hour, but I promise you I will correct every Shaq tweet until I get bored by it.

And while I don’t consider myself hero, if you want to call me one because I’m taking the time to set a good example for the children, I won’t stop you.

UPDATE

Shaq and I just took the first step on the road to becoming best friends.

Pretty soon we’ll have our own reality TV show on Mtv. It’ll be like Rob and Big, with Shaq as the rich superstar and me as the lovable bodyguard. I should probably start abusing steroids now, just to get ready.