My Twitter Campaign Gets Nasty

A few months ago I started a campaign to get more followers on my Twitter account @AdamSacks than California’s 19th district representative George Radanovich.

Now I could understand a Senator having more followers than me, but Radanovich is just a Congressman. Winning a Congressional seat is the grown-up equivalent of winning a high school election. Sure they run on a platform of increasing lunch breaks and decreasing homework, but everyone knows they won’t have the power to actually do anything.

Though what mostly annoyed me was that George Radanovich’s tweets were so boring they made me yearn for the excitement of a floor debate on C-SPAN.

It’s been about five months since I threw down the Twitter gauntlet, so I figured it’s time to check my campaign’s progress.

First of all, hands down, I’m still beating George on the quality scale. Here’s his latest tweet (20 days old, I might add).

Versus mine (still fresh from this afternoon).

But the problem is, I’m not gaining traction with voters. When I started campaigning against Radanovich, he was leading me in the polls 499 followers to 83. Now he’s leading me 1,244 followers to 290. Some of my analysts say this is good news because I have a higher percentage growth rate. But that’s like winning the Most Improved Athlete award, which we all knows goes to whoever was the worst to begin with.

I want to crush Radanovich, so I talked it over with my campaign manager and we’ve decided to go negative. But I do have morals, so I won’t stoop so low as to compare Radanovich to Hitler. I don’t think it’s fair to compare anyone to that monster.

However, there are other monsters I’m more than willing to compare Radanovich to. Such as…

And…

But what I think all Republicans fear most are French people.

That’s right, Radanovich, the gloves are coming off.

As for everyone else, what are you waiting for? Follow me on Twitter.