An Open Letter Regarding My Lack of Updates

Dearest readers,

I am very sorry for not updating my blog more often. I was busy and denied you a new post for almost a whole week, and for that I throw myself at your feet and beg for the mercy we both know I don’t deserve.

I can’t even imagine how disappointing it was for you to check my website hour after hour, day after day, desperately hoping for a new post, only to realize I had abandoned you. Here is an artist’s rendering of you after just one day.

Here is day three.

And day five.

All I can say is that I’m sorry. Really truly deeply sorry. I know that can’t take away the tears shed, clothes torn, hairs pulled, or the Gods forsaken, but please believe me when I say that hurting you also hurts me.

But it goes even deeper than that. It’s not just you, the reader, I hurt, but the entire Internet because if there is one thing the web needs, it’s more blog posts. There is a serious dearth of self-important, inane ramblings on the web, and for almost a week I was the problem instead of the solution. So Internet, please accept my apology.

Though now that I think about it, I also owe the world an apology. Thankfully, world somehow survived without new blog posts from me, but surviving is not the same thing as thriving. Isn’t it possible that if I posted just a few more times last week, Israel and Palestine would have established real, lasting peace; GM would have rolled out a successful line of fully electric cars, thus ending global warming; and Bono would have found a way to feed the world through self-righteous music? I very well could have blown a once in a lifetime opportunity to save the world, and for that I will be forever sorry.

There comes a time in every Internet reader’s life when they realize their blogger is not perfect, and I think for you that moment is now. I am not perfect. Sometimes I make mistakes. Other times I go to Ottawa for an animation festival. But even other times I stand here as a blogger, asking you, as a reader, to forgive me, because isn’t forgiveness (and sharing data) why scientists invented the Internet in the first place?

Sincerely,
Adam

World’s Greatest Planet

Just in case you haven’t done all your Earth Day shopping, might I suggest

Worlds Greatest Planet
$13

You’ve never really tasted Fair Trade coffee, until you’ve sipped it from a CafePress mug made God knows where (dishwasher and microwave safe).

Now, some of you may complain that Earth Day was last week, but I for one think our planet is important enough that we should have at least a week to show our appreciation and market products.

Also, in the interest of full disclosure, this mug was my friend Nick’s idea.

But since he’s too busy loving ice cream and the Nuge, I had him agree to let me steal the concept.