Acronyms Can Really Obnoxiously Negate Your Motive

Chris French enters his apartment and is startled to find his friends Albert Dutch, Beth English and David Dijibouti waiting for him.

Albert: Chris, we need to talk.

Beth: This is an intervention.

David: It’s about your store’s name.

Chris: Chris French Cleaners? What’s wrong with that?

Albert: Don’t you see?

Chris
French
Cleaners

CFC!

Beth: That stands for chlorofluorocarbons.

David: Chloroflurocarbons created the hole in our ozone layer.

Albert: You’ve named your dry cleaning store after a dangerous pollutant!

Beth: It’s too ironic! It will ruin your business.

Chris: Relax, it’s been that way since 1959. I’ll be fine.

Albert: That’s what I thought about my failed condom business.

Albert’s
Infectious
Defense
System.

AIDS!

Beth: Yes, and my now-defunct infant furniture store.

Beth’s
Antique
Bassinets.
Yellowing
Merchandise
Unwaveringly
Reliable
Despite
Evident
Repairs.

BABY MURDER!

David: And my out-of-print peaceful New Age philosophy book!

David’s
Altruistic
Theology
Encompassing
Religion
And
Practical
Ethics.
Developed
Reverently
Unto
God’s
Service.

DATE RAPE DRUGS!

Chris: But you guys worked so hard creating ironic acronyms that you were clearly more interested in being clever than being successful.

Anthony: Oh, good point.

Beth: Yeah, I never even cared about babies.

David: Now I regret changing my name from Hank.

More Wet Paint Anagrams

For those who missed it, back in January I took some New York City subway “Wet Paint” signs and rearranged the letters to say other things.

Afterwords I thought of some more Wet Paint anagrams, but none really seemed worth a second post. That is, until I thought to use two signs.

Enjoy.

And I think that about does it for wet paint signs.

Wet Paint Anagrams

If you live in New York City, you have undoubtedly seen the Wet Paint signs in the subway, and have also seen the sign rearranged to say Aint Wet.

Whoever first thought to tear off the P and rearrange the words is a genius. So perfect in both form and function, it’s hard to believe the idea ever did not exist.

But I am not content with such utilitarian ideas. It is the superfluous and sublime that captivate me. Are there other anagrams that can open eyes and lift spirits?

In other words, can I be the love child of Will Shortz and Andy Goldsworthy?

And if so, isn’t that worth a few unexpected paint stains?