Jackie Chan: Stunt Neck
How exciting does Jackie Chan’s The Spy Next Door look?
This has the potential to make Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Kindergarten Cop look like Vin Diesel’s The Pacifier.
But The Spy Next Door won’t just revolutionize the “action star babysitting” genre. Look at what Jackie Chan’s neck can do.
That’s not Photoshop. Jackie Chan does all his own stunts, which means his neck is made of rubber.
For a spy movie, this changes EVERYTHING. If a villain tied James Bond to a chair, but left a knife dangling directly behind his head, Bond would be powerless to get the knife and cut himself free before the excruciatingly slow moving laser cut him in half. But with Jackie Chan, there is literally no trap he can’t get out of, provided the key to his escape is within his 360 degree biting radius.
Sorry super villians, your plans for world domination are no match against Jackie Chan’s Exorcist neck.
And if you’re still not excited about The Spy Next Door, check this out.
That’s right, it also features the creators of Miley Cyrus and Lopez Tonight. How they got the man responsible for some of most stupefyingly childish television of all time and Billy Ray Cyrus together, I’ll never know.
January 15th can’t come soon enough.
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Tags: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Billy Ray Cyrus, George Lopez, Jackie Chan, Kindergarten Cop, Miley Cyrus, The Pacifier, The Spy Next Door, Vin Diesel
Advertising, Movies, Photoshop, Pictures | Adam | 
December 18, 2009 1:29 pm
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By Mark Borok, December 18, 2009 @ 3:07 pm
“The Pacifier” is also funny because Vin Diesel’s head happens to look just like a nipple.
By Jonah, December 21, 2009 @ 6:13 pm
also… is that a pig?
By Christina Rodriguez, December 23, 2009 @ 4:08 pm
Clearly this is all the work of Satan. Burn it! Burn it with FIRE!