Hot Guys, Ugly Girls

This weekend, Couples Retreat debuted number one at the box office making 35.3 million dollars.

For those who don’t know, Couples Retreat is the hilarious story of four average to unattractive guys who don’t want to go on vacation with their hot girlfriends.

Contractually I wasn’t allowed to say anything until after the premier, but I wrote the original screenplay. Here’s the movie poster I mocked up when shopping around the script.

As you can see, Hollywood completely ruined my original vision. There are tons of women who relate with Kathy Bates’ struggle to be accepted based on her talents instead of looks; Kirstie Alley’s battle with weight gain; Whoopi Goldberg’s quick wit; and Rhea Perlman’s brash, take-no-guff personality; and these women would pay good money to vicariously live out their fantasy of having super hunky boyfriends. I fought with the studio for months over casting, but in the end a movie exec told me point blank, “No one would ever believe Daniel Craig could find Kathy Bates attractive.”

Apparently, this couple is more believable.

Was I angry? Of course. But I shouldn’t have been surprised. Here are a few other scripts I wrote that Hollywood totally destroyed.

Fine Art, Ugly Economy

How To Get An Attractive Girlfriend

Hollywood Walk-Off

Even More Google Searches

Tags: Betty White, Camryn Manheim, Couples Retreat, Daniel Craig, featured, Gael Garcia Bernal, George Clooney, Heather Matarazzo, Hugh Jackman, I Love You Beth Cooper, Jamie Foxx, Joan Cusack, Kathy Bates, Kirstie Alley, Knocked Up, Matthew McConaughey, movie making, Rhea Perlman, Roseanne Barr, Wedding Crashers, Whoopi Goldberg

Advertising, Movies, Photoshop | Adam | October 12, 2009 12:06 am

7 Comments

By ikke, October 12, 2009 @ 12:40 am

This was a great antidote for the Monday morning blues.
By J., October 12, 2009 @ 8:03 am

Now THAT version of “Wedding Crashers” I would pay money to see. (That Betty White is a hoot and a holler!)

Another great, funny (yet sad) post. Thanks for brightening up my Monday morning, too.
By RYG, October 12, 2009 @ 12:44 pm

so that couples retreat re-make poster pretty much made my day, especially with daniel craig as the poster boy.
By Morgan, October 12, 2009 @ 4:39 pm

HAH! Yes, please.
By Christina Rodriguez, October 15, 2009 @ 12:51 pm

Awww, don’t hate on Kathy Bates! She’s awesome!
By Natalie, February 10, 2010 @ 1:08 am

What an amazing post, I stumbled upon this by searching chauvinism. This is a very overlooked double standard and it warms my heart to see a man addressing this, in an insightful and funny post. You are truly awesome.
By Snozzle, January 16, 2011 @ 1:57 am

You, sir, have no idea how much I’d pay to see these!