Last Late Night with Conan O’Brien

Wow, things sure do change. I remember being twelve and staying up late to watch Conan O’Brien. Who’d have thought I’d watch his last Late Night on a Sunday afternoon, through the internet and in my boxers?

He’s moving to LA, so I thought I’d pitch some new characters inspired by his new home.

First up is Sally the Opera Singing Silicon Implant.

She sings so loud and high pitched that she bursts herself, sending silicon goo everywhere.

Second we have the Woman With Tourettes Doing Yoga.

No matter how much she tries to relax, she can’t stop cursing like a sailor.

Next up is the Anorexic Name-Dropper.

She’ll pose for any photo, and won’t shut up about what celebrities she saw last night at the club.

Introducing the Guilt Tripping Bowl of Granola.

This cereal will passive aggressively try to turn you vegan.

Meet Ben, the Guy Who Can’t Get Out of His Car Because His Butt Has Melted and Fused With His Car Seat.

His catch phrase: Can you give me a Dianetics stress test in my car?

Here we have Dick, the Guy Who Comes Up With Carl’s Jr. Ads.

He thinks everything would be better if it included a song popular from ten years ago and had more boobs. He could also be Dick, the Movie Studio Executive.

This is Edward the Economic Segragationist.

He works to keep Los Angeles as segregated as possible by refusing to hire minorities for any job that pays more than 15k a year.

And finally here is Cory the Happy Line of Cocaine.

Whatever it is you’re considering, Cory thinks it’s a great idea and you should totally do it.

And all of those ideas come from having spent only two weeks in LA a few years ago. And leaning heavily on stereotypes. Mostly the latter.

UPDATE

So you may have noticed I made a passing reference to Dianetics. Guess what church visited this post a mere 12 hours after it hit the internet? I’ll give you a hint.