Temporary Valentine

Here’s the first video I wrote and edited for my new UCB team The Punch.

Director -  Zack Phillips
Writer and editor  -  me
Cinematographer – Andy Bond
Producer – Luke Kelly-Clyne, Brandon Lisy
Sound – Brandon Lisy
Crew – Matthew Braunsdorf, Silvija Ozols, Elizabeth Starkey

March is a Terrible Boyfriend

Don’t get involved with March. He’ll just treat you wrong.

March Boyfriend
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Written, Shot and Produced by Nathan Russell
Directed, Edited and Special Effects by me
Starring Matt Mayer and Shannon Coffey

Black History Valentine’s Day

Finally, you can get the best of February all in one card. Here’s the latest video from my team The Brig.

Black History Valentine’s Day
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This was a fun one because we came up with the idea and brainstormed as a team (I’m quite happy my Vivien Thomas card got in).

Written by Jon Gutierrez
Directed by Shamikah Christina Martinez
Shot and animated by me
Edited by Nathan Russell
Produced by Laura Turner Garrison
Starring Molly Lloyd

Coors Light: Martin Luther King

This MLK Day, Coors Light finally crosses the line. Here’s the latest The Brig video I directed.

Coors Light: Martin Luther King
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Written by Zack Phillips
Directed by me
Edited by Matt Mayer
Starring Justin Purnell, Josh Patten, Dan Hodapp
Extras Matt Mayer, Zack Phillips, Jon Guitierrez

Groundhog Day Day

Here’s the latest video I directed for my UCB Comedy Beta team The Brig. It might be our weirdest one yet.

Groundhog Day Day
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Matt Mayer wrote the original idea and then Matt, Nathan Russell and I kept adding to it until it very organically became something none of us would have thought of on our own.

Also, if you watched the whole thing and don’t understand the ending, it’s a callback to The Brig’s commercial for the depression medication Numbalex.

420 on 4/20

Here’s the latest from my UCB Comedy Beta team, The Brig.

420 on 4/20
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I wrote it, Nathan Russell shot, directed and edited it. Nathan added the “realization” at the end, which I think is great and I wish I thought of it myself.

And here is last week’s video.

Star Wars 4D
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Jon Gutierrez wrote this one, Matt Mayer directed and did effects, and Nathan Russell shot and edited it.

Priestly Pedophilia and Jews

The New York Times: A senior Vatican priest speaking at a Good Friday service compared the uproar over sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic Church — which have included reports about Pope Benedict XVI’s oversight role in two cases — to the persecution of the Jews.

Rev. Raniero Cantalamessa: Yes, the Catholic Church knew about a few priests and their unfortunate decisions regarding children. And yes, instead of defrocking them, we just moved them to a new church so they could continue to make unfortunate decisions. But what is getting lost here is how very few priests we’re talking about. The vast majority of priests are good people, and by criticizing us for a few bad apples, you’re no better than anti-Semites.

Consider the middle ages. Most Jews at the time were good, decent people. Sure, a few of them were responsible for the black plague, but that doesn’t excuse the destruction of hundreds of Jewish villages throughout medieval Europe anymore than our approach to priestly misconduct excuses all the bad press we’ve been receiving.

And in 18oo’s, some Jewish bad apples were planning a global Zionist takeover, but the Russian pogroms that killed an estimated 300,000 innocent Jews was an over-reaction on par with the strongly worded op-ed pieces that have criticized our systematic cover-up of hundreds of child abuse cases throughout Europe.

And yes, some money grubbing, hook nosed Jews were responsible for Germany losing World War I and its subsequent economic collapse, but I think we can all agree that the Holocaust was as unwarranted as the recent calls for Pope Benedict XVI’s resignation.

My point is this: If you criticize us for protecting child rapists, you’re just as bad as the Nazis, about who our pope at the time, Pius XII, remained neutral.

Happy Easter!

And so close to Christmas

And now, the Action News at five.

Dan Denderson: Merry Christmas everyone, I’m Dan Denderson.

Robin Rochelle: And I’m Robin Rochelle. Our top story tonight: Tragedy strikes as a house in Edison collapses, severely injuring a mother, father and two children. A sad story, all the sadder because it happened on Christmas.

Dan: You hate to hear about something like this on Christmas, Robin.

Robin: It is especially tough this time of year, Dan.

And now, the Action News at five.

Dan: We begin tonight with a sad story. A local ASPCA kennel burned down, killing almost fifty adorable puppies. And to think, just two days after Christmas.

Robin: Such a shame, so close to the holidays.

And now, the Action News at five.

Robin: Shocking news tonight. An entire little league baseball team dead, crushed to death by a meteorite, a mere 24 days after Christmas.

Dan: The timing must make it extra hard on the families.

And now, the Action News at five.

Dan: Tonight, horror on the highway. A special needs school bus overturned on Route 84, killing everyone on board. And just 4 days, 7 weeks after Christmas.

And now, the Action News at five.

Robin: Tonight, the unthinkable as a heard of rabid cows trampled to death the majority of residents in Essex County, just 132 days after Christmas.

And now, the Action News at five.

Dan: Sad news tonight. James Spader, star of such movies and TV as Secretary and Boston Legal, died tonight of spontaneous combustion. His death, all the more tragic as today is Secretary’s Day.

And now, the Action News at five.

Robin: Heartbreak tonight, as the local Mattapan Rose Day Parade ended early when an elderly float driver lost control of his vehicle, killing 47 bystanders. Residents can at least take some small comfort in the fact that today, June 25th, is as far from Christmas as possible.

And now, the Action News at five.

Dan: Lots of unanswered questions tonight as 84 members of the Solomon’s Pillar cult died today in an apparent mass suicide. Authorities are still investigating how such a thing could happen with Christmas just 3 months, 1 week and 6 days away.

And now, the Action News at five.

Robin: This Thanksgiving, there’s not a lot for one family to be thankful for as a 16 year old boy shot and killed his entire extended family a mere 35 days before they could all meet again for Christmas.

And now, the Action News at five.

Dan: And finally tonight, a real life Scrooge stole all the presents donated to the Montclair Elementary School toy drive, just three days before Christmas.

Robin: How could someone do that, Dan? At this time of year?

Dan: Around Christmas. Hard to believe, Robin.

Robin: Now, of all times, Dan.

Dan: This time of year, it really is so sad.

Robin: It really is the worst time of year to ruin Christmas.

Soda vs Pop vs the War on Christmas

Forget Afghanistan and Iraq, the real never ending war is the War on Christmas. Check out this recent attack.

While I was offended by the jarring song and spastic dancing, the American Family Association was offended that the commercial mentioned any holiday other than Christmas. Despite all of the clearly Christmas related imagery, they felt this commercial was persecuting them.

I can relate 100 percent.

You see, I too am a victim of a war. The War on Soda.

As someone who was raised correctly, I know “soda” is the one true name. Some people may call it “pop,” but they’re wrong. The word soda comes from sodium carbonate which gives soda its distinctive fizz, while “pop” comes from someone bad at onomatopoeia trying to describe soda’s distinctive fizz.

And yet everyday I’m persecuted by the Politically Correct Police who force inclusive terms like “cola,” “soft drink” or “carbonated beverage” down my throat. They’re taking the soda out of soda, and I for one won’t stand for it.

We live in a nation founded by Soda believers. Here’s a map showing where in America soda is the predominant term. (via The Pop vs Soda Page)

And here is that map overlaid with the some of our founding fathers’ birthplaces.

The conclusion is clear. America is a nation of soda drinking white men usually named John.

This is a slippery slope, and it’s time we take a stand or pretty soon we’ll find ourselves drinking pop with our hoagies, putting jimmies on our ice cream, using gumbands to hold stuff together, while our children drink water from bubblers in the park. That’s not the America I know and love.

So this December 25th, show some Christmas cheer and drink a soda.

2010 New Year’s Eve Novelty Glasses

2010 threatens the very existence of New Year’s Eve novelty glasses.

Written, directed and edited by me.

Starring (in speaking order)
Paul Costabile
Dom Manzolillo
Lauren Adams
Kelly Hudson
Benjamin Apple
Adam Bozarth

Producer: Hilda Karadsheh

Camera: Matt Mayer

Lights: Mike Costabile

Music: Kevin MacLeod

If this seems familiar, I originally did this idea as a written piece back in January.