Synonym

Maybe they should rename themselves Irony.com

420 on 4/20

Here’s the latest from my UCB Comedy Beta team, The Brig.

420 on 4/20
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I wrote it, Nathan Russell shot, directed and edited it. Nathan added the “realization” at the end, which I think is great and I wish I thought of it myself.

And here is last week’s video.

Star Wars 4D
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Jon Gutierrez wrote this one, Matt Mayer directed and did effects, and Nathan Russell shot and edited it.

Cookie Diet

Johnson: So our market research shows that people want to lose weight, and that people like to eat cookies. How can we exploit this?

Winford: Let’s make low-fat cookies for people on diets.

Johnson: Snackwells already does that. Let’s think big.

Siegal: How about cookies that make you lose weight?

Johnson: That’s crazy. Sell me on it.

Siegal: We’ll call it Cookie Diet. It’ll just be a box of cookies, but on the front we’ll put a picture of my uncle in a white coat to imply that it’s medically proven to make you lose weight.

Johnson: I love it. But what happens when people realize the cookies don’t work?

Siegal: That’s easy, we just charge an outrageous amount of money, that way we only need to sell one box per person.

Johnson: Yeah, something ridiculously expensive, like 30 bucks a box.

Winford: Actually according to our projections, we’d need to charge 60 dollars a box to make it profitable.

Siegal: 60 dollars?!? Maybe this won’t work.

Johnson: No, it’s perfect! The price point will instill consumer confidence because no company with a shred of decency would charge such an exorbitant amount for diet cookies that don’t work.

Thinks!

I stopped doing Google search posts because I couldn’t imagine anyone else caring, but this is special. Right now, if you google “thinks,” I’m the 9th result.

I also look like a raging anti-Semite, so it’s a bit of a mixed blessing, but I’ll take it. Watch out Cogito ergo sum, I’m gunning for your number 7 spot next.

Haveing Readerings

I hope they’re better at reading the future than writing about it.

Priestly Pedophilia and Jews

The New York Times: A senior Vatican priest speaking at a Good Friday service compared the uproar over sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic Church — which have included reports about Pope Benedict XVI’s oversight role in two cases — to the persecution of the Jews.

Rev. Raniero Cantalamessa: Yes, the Catholic Church knew about a few priests and their unfortunate decisions regarding children. And yes, instead of defrocking them, we just moved them to a new church so they could continue to make unfortunate decisions. But what is getting lost here is how very few priests we’re talking about. The vast majority of priests are good people, and by criticizing us for a few bad apples, you’re no better than anti-Semites.

Consider the middle ages. Most Jews at the time were good, decent people. Sure, a few of them were responsible for the black plague, but that doesn’t excuse the destruction of hundreds of Jewish villages throughout medieval Europe anymore than our approach to priestly misconduct excuses all the bad press we’ve been receiving.

And in 18oo’s, some Jewish bad apples were planning a global Zionist takeover, but the Russian pogroms that killed an estimated 300,000 innocent Jews was an over-reaction on par with the strongly worded op-ed pieces that have criticized our systematic cover-up of hundreds of child abuse cases throughout Europe.

And yes, some money grubbing, hook nosed Jews were responsible for Germany losing World War I and its subsequent economic collapse, but I think we can all agree that the Holocaust was as unwarranted as the recent calls for Pope Benedict XVI’s resignation.

My point is this: If you criticize us for protecting child rapists, you’re just as bad as the Nazis, about who our pope at the time, Pius XII, remained neutral.

Happy Easter!

Autobiographical Film Critic

Here’s the latest from my UCB Comedy Beta team, The Brig.

Autobiographical Film Critic
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Zack Phillips wrote this one, Jason Guerrero shot it and I directed, edited and did the effects. I was excited to do this one because I haven’t had many chances to do a video that really relied on the actor’s performance, and I think Terry Withers did a great job as the film critic.

Here’s another Brig video.

Sally D
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Crystal Delahanty wrote it, Matt Mayer directed and did effects and Nathan Russell shot and edited it.

Also, UCB Comedy just launched their new design, and they’re working really hard to get lots of good new content up (my team The Brig is a part of that), so you should check it out.