Star Trek: The New Star Wars

My thesis, in video form.

My defense of said (seen?) thesis in written, Photoshopped and T-shirted form.

The age old battle between Star Wars and Star Trek is over. Star Wars won. And it won by convincing the latest Star Trek movie to join the Force.

star_wars_vs_star_trek

Old Star Trek was about exploration, moral dilemmas and social criticism by way of ridiculous alien races.

star_trek_black_white_aliens

New Star Trek is about sword fights on platforms hanging thousands of feet above the ground.

sulu_sword

In other words, it’s Star Wars.

sulu_lightsaber

But looked at another way, Star Trek is the real winner because Star Trek is a whole lot better at being Star Wars than Star Wars ever was. Star Wars’s greatest strength is exciting the imaginations of ten-year-olds who then go on to imagine Star Wars being better than it actually is. For example, consider Boba Fett.

bobafett

In the original trilogy, Boba Fett was a minor character with no personality who dies by basically losing his balance. That’s not very cool. But because Boba Fett was such a blank slate, fans projected something cool onto him and now they think his costume is so cool that no one will notice their gut.

bad-boba-fett-costume

When writing about Star Wars, one is contractually obligated to make at least one fat joke, even if it's a reach.

Next, let’s consider Kirk in the latest Star Trek. He’s brash, he breaks rules, he’s good looking and he gets what he wants. To put it another way, Kirk is everything fans want Han Solo to be.

han_solo_kirk

And this Kirk wouldn’t shoot second. He wouldn’t even shoot first. He’d just sleep with Greedo’s mom.

green_woman

So Star Wars fans win by getting the new Star Trek. But Star Trek fans, who appreciated all the tough moral choices and political ideals of Star Trek, still do okay because they have the new Battlestar Galactica series. Which means the only real losers here are fans of the original Battlestar Galactica.

300px-bgpromo1

But that’s okay, they were losers to begin with.

trek_wars_shirtTrek is the new Wars
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10 Comments

  • By d, May 15, 2009 @ 11:15 am

    I walked out of the theater wondering if that movie was an homage to Star Wars.

    Wait a minute… JJ’s destroying the franchise from the inside! It’s a trap!

  • By Adam, May 15, 2009 @ 11:22 am

    It’s a trap! I love it. Someone should photoshop Admiral Ackbar watching Star Trek saying that.

  • By JEFF, August 29, 2009 @ 11:11 am

    I like revisionism, provided it’s a good story. I think the new Galactica was outstanding. The changes in the ’Star Trek Universe’ were a minor annoyance. The reason I hated this movie was the Star Wars style story line. The one thing Star Trek always had over Star Wars was that is was written to appeal to adults, and Star Wars is a big comic book story, although it was a good one.

  • By RYG, October 12, 2009 @ 12:49 pm

    I have to give credit to Abrams renovation to the Star Trek franchise – giving Kirk a new personality, side-tracking, yet, capturing the essence of Star Trek. Sadly, I do have to admit the whole movie was a bit too much Star Wars-y for me to handle (though I am a huge fan of both franchises). Funny enough, I’m watching Star Wars right now.

    The second Star Trek movie is probably in the making; perhaps, it’ll be more in tune with Star Trek, instead of flitting on the action of Star Wars.

  • By Saurus, October 26, 2009 @ 10:35 pm

    I think this thesis must be reexamined. I don’t know what Abrams intensions are with the new star trek movies, but as a fan of both Star wars and Star trek, I must admit Star Trek had to change for the Current & Next Generations. And I enjoyed every moment of the new movie. However, I can’t agree that the use of the sword comes from Star Wars. Anyone thats honest, must agree that Zulu made sword fighting an iconic weapons in the original series of Trek. If not mistaken Kirk and Spock fought against klingons with swords too and it is undeniable that Phasers came before Blasters. Traveling faster than light speed in big fleet style ships was first from Star Trek. The way I see it, Abrams was just modernizing the iconic elements, that were from the original Star Trek series. So I think you must reevaluate your thesis and examin the facts, before you reach any final conclusions. In any case Star Wars copied stuff from the original series Star Trek, and don’t forget the Wizard of Oz, in many ways. Not to mencion who knows how many other fairy tales that make up Star Wars (The Clone Wars).

  • By Adam, October 26, 2009 @ 10:57 pm

    Yes, but in the original Star Trek, Sulu’s sword didn’t shoot out of the handle like a lightsaber.

  • By Saurus, October 26, 2009 @ 11:11 pm

    I’m pretty sure that if the CG tech of the 60′s would have permitted Sulu’s sword to be some sort of sun sword or lightsaber, under whatever the TV bugets was, it would have been done before SW. Gene was a visionary. just as much as George. The truth is Star Trek Original Series broke the mold and Star Wars in alot of ways has copied and improved it and surpassed it. But still a Clone War. Hey, whats with the Stars Wars Cartoons? Are they Copying Star Trek Cartoons now too?

  • By Digitante, December 4, 2009 @ 10:22 am

    Oh, you really hit the nail on the head. Abrams actually mentioned copying Star Wars in the DVD extras, BTW.

    I actually really enjoyed the new Star Trek — I like a good spoof as much as anybody.

  • By Saurus, December 19, 2009 @ 8:20 am

    I saw the DVD extra, my undertanding of what Abrams was saying about Star Wars in this new Star Trek movie was the fact that, for the new generation, Star Trek needed to pickup the speed in accion and use another style of filming to make it more realistic for the newer generation which is more demanding than that of the 60′s. So he changed the filming styles and elements used in making this Movie and use other technics he used in other productions to get what he wanted (including Star Wars, which is a George Lucas film not a Abrams Film). But, this is somethng that needs to be done to ANY remakes from ANY movies made in the early TV era. I said before, I agree that the changes Abrams made to Star Trek was needed for the next generation of fans, but this doesn’t mean he was copying anything specific from Star Wars into Star Trek in this movie, or making Star Trek a Star Wars movie because he used similar filming styles in some scenes. I understand he was talking about production methods and style, and this is a good thing… Right?. I still think Star Trek was first, and Star Wars copied more from Star Trek, Wizard Of Oz, and other Fairy tales much, much, more than what Abrams may have used in changing the production style in the new Star Trek Movie. Star Wars is a great film I love it and always will, but it will always be, Star Wars the clone Wars!

  • By Darkwing, October 11, 2010 @ 3:13 pm

    I still say the best Trek movie yet is Galaxy Quest!

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