Berenstain Bears Gone Wild.

In my last post, I accepted the implied job offer of juice box art director at R.W. Knudsen Family. As it turns out, they’re very interested in hiring me, but first want to see where I’d take the brand. As a rule I don’t give out my ideas for free, but since this job would be my ticket to all-you-can-drink fruit juice for life, I made an exception.

First let’s remember what they started with.

all

So not only does everyone have the same poorly drawn three-eyed baleen whale head, the boxes are just plain boring. It’s time for organic fruit juices to show the world just how badass all natural, no sugar added drinks really are. And what says badass more than a bar fight?

dad_berenstain_bear

Or 1930′s bank robberies?

daughter_berenstain_bear

Also, let’s branch out a little. Most organic foods target the same small market. But there are a lot more people out there who could really benefit from all natural fruit juices. Like heroin addicts.

son_berenstain_bear

Also, if prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, they must have a lot of money saved up. We should aggressively target that market.

mom_berenstain_bear

So Mr. and Mrs. Knudsen, since you must be ridiculously impressed with my pitch, don’t even bother calling me to offer the job. I’ll just show up Monday. And tell your factory to get ready because I can drink a surprising amount of all natural fruit punch.

8 Comments

  • By RyanMCFC, March 27, 2009 @ 10:23 am

    You cracked the juice box design code! These are the ones. They will sell by the caseload. I think you will be running Knudsen’s before long. Enjoy your first day of work.

    By the way. Papa Bear in a bar fight – stroke of genius.

  • By ACA, March 27, 2009 @ 10:34 am

    cute

  • By StewPorkPalace, March 27, 2009 @ 2:57 pm

    Well done! I’ve been following your documented, uh, document on the unfortunate design flaws of this delicious juice. You’ve hit a home run here, Adam. That’s fourth base! …and you know what happens at fourth base. Hey now….

  • By Mike Damanskis, March 27, 2009 @ 3:04 pm

    These would probably sell

  • By kelseroo, March 27, 2009 @ 8:32 pm

    OMG that was hilarious. Brilliant!

  • By Erin, April 8, 2009 @ 10:04 am

    Seriously hilarious! These were my favorite books as a kid, but I think we all suspected that Papa Bear was a total loose cannon.

  • By Tami, April 30, 2009 @ 3:57 pm

    I just happened up on your site b/c of your Cougar comment and you are hilarious. Can’t wait to see what you are going to say next!

  • By Elizabeth, August 30, 2009 @ 11:47 am

    This is delightful, Adam, as is the rest of your blog.

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